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lst Born John 1960

First Apartment-The first apartment we had which Richard had shared with a man he had met at the YMCA needed a few womanly touches. I made curtains for the kitchen and we went to an auction house and found a couch.  When my parents came to visit us they bought us a lamp.  We did have a nice TV though.  Even then that was an important part of Richard's life.  I also remember when we were out with our parents we would always have to make sure we were back in time for their soap opera.  I thought that was funny but Dad was retired and so this was part of their new life together. They must have visited us when I was on Christmas leave from school.

We were attending 4th Ward and I was Sunday School Secretary now and he was the Sunday School Superintendent. I remember one of the young women seemed to have a crush on Richard.  She said he was so handsome and I was so lucky.

A funny thing I remember about that apartment is that I made a lot of Spanish Rice with bacon.  It was fast and cheap I guess.  Money was always an issue.


We Were Anxious to Start a Family-Since Richard was 28 and I was 26 we were not waiting to have children.  We were excited to learn we would be having a baby the very end of July 1960.  There was only one problem.  San Diego Unified School District wanted expectant mothers to quit teaching at 5 months of pregnancy.  That would mean I would have to quit teaching in April.  My obstetrician said that was ridiculous.  There was no reason I couldn't finish the school year and without my even asking he put down on the form that my baby was due  in October of 1960.

The only problem with that is when my waistline disappeared I could not start wearing maternity clothes.  I wore skirts with the zipper undone and an over blouse.  I felt fat. 

I did not like it at all.  I was so excited when I was finally able to wear the beautiful maternity clothes I had made.  I loved the black velvet jumper and skirt the most. 


 And Marilyn sent me her red pleated dress which was really lovely.  The Kindergarten mothers were as thrilled as I was and even gave me a shower before the year was over.

Through his former roommate, Richard had met Mansfield Mills of La Jolla who advised clients about the stock market and he took Richard in to train him as he was already training his roommate.  We moved to a $65 a month apartment in Pacific Beach.  We paid less rent because we managed the apartments and took care of the yards.

Mansfield Mills taught Richard everything he knew about letter writing and marketing.  It was good and he made better money than at the bank.  We sold my car  and that was the first $2000 we were able to save.  We only had one car until Richard's mother bought a new one and sold us her old one a couple years down the road.

Long, Hot Summer-It was a long, hot summer and when we would go to the beach I would dig a hole for my tummy.  There was another expectant mother in our complex as well.  She did not gain as much weight as I did though, but we looked forward to raising our babies together.

I was not planning on teaching anymore.  I was going to be a full-time Mom and was very happy about that.  To prepare for the baby I made an organza skirt for the car bed which would sit next to our bed until the baby was old enough to be in a room by himself.  We also had a guest bed in with his crib, hoping someone would visit us in Pacific Beach.

My sister Carole was going to be teaching in the San Diego School District this next year and so she and Mom were there waiting for the baby to come.  It did not come, it did not come, the doctor broke my water, and still, it did not come.  But the apple will fall when it is ready, he said.  I was expecting to have the kind of birth Mom did, easy.  

Finally, the night of August 17 labor began and we were in Sharp Hospital.  The doctor had the nurses give me something to slow labor until he was there but instead it totally stopped the labor and that began a nightmarish night.  

I will never forget the terrible pain, nothing happening, laying on a cold x-ray table, more pain.  Finally, in the morning the baby was in trouble and the doctor did a quick long cut (up and down, no neat smile) and pulled the baby out and he was put in an incubator with oxygen.   

August 18th, Johnny's Birth Date-I was very sick with high fever and I didn't realize till later that when I was up above my body looking down on everyone working around my body I was probably having an out of body experience.  

I was obviously seriously ill.  For the next week, I received phenomenal care with lots of back rubs, bringing my milk in, teaching me how to nurse and a lot of pain pills.  The nurses were wonderful but I never wanted another baby, that was for sure.  I did not know that normal births did not receive that much care from the nurses.  I was really coddled which I later found out was because of my bad experience.

Unfortunately, I could not even hold my baby for a few days.  I was feverish and he was in the incubator. Since this was our first birth we had nothing to gauge how it should have been instead of how it was.  How thrilled I was when they finally brought him to me with his little scowl.  His fingernails were long and skin very dry.  He looked like he had been too long in the womb and we would say that he was rebelling against leaving Heaven like he objected to a lot of things later.

The doctor would tell me later I had uteri inertia and was written up in a medical book,  I don't know.  A mutual friend of a nurse in the hospital told me he had to stop practicing at that hospital because he did not follow the rule of consulting with another doctor when a Cesarean appeared necessary and then a decision being made by two doctors instead of one. 

He said he knew I wanted a large family and he did not want to have to do a Cesarean and so he prolonged the inevitable and then ended up doing the kind that would limit my family anyway.  It was not good.  I would later believe that the medicine he ordered to slow my labor actually stopped it because my body was not used to strong meds, alcohol, etc. and that is what caused the problem.  If he was available when my labor was going well I now believe there would have been a normal birth!!


It was wonderful to have Mom with us when we brought John Eric home.  That first week I was getting in and out of the low rocking chair so much that the outer sutures broke in two (they were like wire) and were poking at my tummy from the inside out.  The doctor wouldn't believe me when I called to tell him but sure enough, that is exactly what happened.  I was going to have the ugliest scar ever forever!


So Much to Learn-One thing about the baby clothes in those days is that so many were made out of cotton and came out of the dryer wrinkled.  We used the sleeper sacks mostly instead of the footies.  Because of the beach air and his weakness toward ear infection Johnny would also wear lots of hats that covered his ears.


A Name Given and a Blessing-Johnny was dressed in a darling white suit and I had crocheted a small afghan for his Blessing and Naming at 6th Ward in Point Loma.  Richard gave him a beautiful blessing.  Eric is named after my mother's father and John just because we like it.  Richard looks so sober here.  I think he was more fatigued from the birth and lack of sleep than I was.

This is from my journal. "Today started out rainy, dark, and dreary.  Then the sun came out and I had to do the wash.  All morning I've been saying things to myself I wanted recorded and now I'm almost out of the mood of writing.  At first, I intended this to be mostly a record-keeping book of our family's doing, but now I've decided it will be my private thoughts.  

I had a diary before, once in third grade, again in Junior High and finally somewhat in college.  My sister Jeanne, found the first one and repeated it on the way to school one day "how I had wanted to hang my tennis shoes by George's ".  Well, I destroyed that one.  The one I wrote in Jr. Hi, I also destroyed as it sounded so silly when I read it in High School.  My freshman year in college I wrote down all my thoughts, ambitions, and etc. and sealed it (with staples ) to be opened in five years.  Well, I read it the next year and my ideas, likes, and dislikes had already changed so much I felt I was very wishy-washy. 

Now, I would give anything If I had all those records because it's the change that shows the growth and maturing of myself.  It's hard to know today what you really thought yesterday.  I am going to write with the idea that no one is to read this--that way I can really be honest with myself.  I want to include facts my faulty memory alters and...my ideas today, no matter how different from yesterday or tomorrow.


John Eric is waking. I'll leave him till he cries for me, he seems to enjoy his crib and looking at the bunnies--probably even babies enjoy a little privacy. He's 3 1/2 months old now and so very alert and active. He weighs around 14 lbs. and is 25" long-- a husky fellow who laughs and smiles for everyone. Most people think he is older and I do believe he was about 3 weeks past due when he was born. He was due July 27th and not born till August 18th. 


The doctor says I should have only two more babies and have them two years apart. I'm not sure how much confidence I have in Dr. Shepherd though. I may change next time. Baby John wants me now, he doesn't cry much, just fusses to tell you things. He always lets me know when he's messed his pants so guess he'll be a particular boy about his clothes!! Funny fellow, he's almost back to sleep again--he sleeps much more lately it seems.


Yesterday he had his casts removed that he had worn for 3 weeks to tighten his heel cord. It was not serious and looks much better. We received our processed roll of film back. I'm so anxious to see our first movies--hope we really keep a good movie record of our children.


December 7, 1960, Poor John is feverish and unhappy today. He had his second polio shot yesterday and it has affected him. I've been getting a few things ready for Christmas--I'm so anxious to get a tree up, the wrapped packages look so pretty. 





Saturday we bought our projector and screen. We've shown our Thanksgiving film over and over. I never tire of looking at baby John, I believe he is such a sweetie. I never dreamed I could have such a darling, lovable baby.

We called Mom on Sunday to ask if she would come back with Carole after Christmas but they probably won't because of the business with Lorin.  I do love to have Mom and Dad here and time is growing short.  Aunt Erica was buried last Wednesday.  She was so good to us children all the time and so healthy.  It's hard to believe she became so weakened.

Marta sent a picture of her baby and he is darling with his big black eyes.

Richard is enjoying being Elders Quorum President.  Since we've been married he's held three jobs: Teacher's Adviser, Superintendent of Sunday School and now E Q P.  He is a good organization man and speaker.  This Sunday he must speak in Sacrament Meeting and he enjoys getting it ready.  Richard is so smart, if only it were easier for him to get up in the morning but with coronary thrombosis so prevalent in the family it's probably a good thing he doesn't strain his health.  He is such a good husband and so helpful.  At times I feel ashamed that he works so hard at work and is still so helpful to me at home.  He is so generous, and I am much too selfish.

Last week I went visiting teaching with Sister Dastrup and I fell in love with her home.  It's just what I'd like someday.

John cut his first tooth on December 8 at 16 weeks old!!!"

Families Are Forever-We did go to the Los Angeles Temple as Richard promised and become a Forever Family.  It was on November 4th and another couple went with us.  Richard was very concerned at what I was thinking but I found it very enjoyable and comforting.  They brought Baby John to the Endowment Room and as he sat on the altar between us he looked from one to the other and cooed.  It was memorable.  The only problem was that John refused to drink from a bottle and he was starving and crying when we finally picked him up from the Nursery.

I would always have a problem getting him to take a bottle except for the cereal/fruit bottles we gave them at six months.  He finally went straight from breast to cup at eight months old.

Except for taking a bottle everything else was full speed ahead.  Johnny had his first teeth at four months and crawled at five months.  My sister's Siamese cat was staying with us and slept in the crib quite often with Johnny and became very well acquainted with him.  This was how Johnny learned to crawl.  The cat would sit just out of reach and Johnny would keep trying to reach him until eventually, he was crawling after him.

Johnny spent a lot of time in a large square playpen in the corner of the apartment and he would pull himself up and walk around the edge.  Finally, he mastered holding on to the string of toys while walking which were diagonal across the playpen and thus could walk well at nine months. 

He was a very cautious child and never tried anything he couldn't master so he never took a bad tumble.  One of his favorite toys when he was sitting was a plastic bottle which he would put colored shaped blocks into and then dump them out and start all over again.  He had great patience.  He also loved to sit in his Dad's green rocker and look at books.  He would study each page for the longest time.

That first Christmas we spent in Las Vegas to show Johnny off to his cousins, the children of Scott and Miriam Hardy.  They came to know him as Johnny and for years after would call him Johnny, even after we started calling him only John.


Always So Much To Do-We really enjoyed the backyard of our apartment.  Only one weird thing, a pervert stole our undies off the clothesline...at least that is what we think happened to them.  Then he paid a visit to Carole and me when we were alone and gave us an amazing display--we had a glass door plus our glass windows so it was hard to get away from him.  We called the police but they never caught him.


While Richard and I were in 4th Ward I served as a Sunday School teacher for the three-year-olds and then Sunday School Secretary.  In 7th Ward, they called me to be Sunday School Secretary also and then as a Laurel Leader.  I quite liked that job though it scared me at first teaching those teenagers.  Then I went to Second Counselor in the Mutual and did a lot of activities with the teenagers.