Janet and Richard Wed in 1959

While living in San Diego both my friends Marta and Colleen from college married and I was planning on living alone for the teaching year 1959-1960.   

So why was I still single in 1959?  Religion was the problem again!  Bill and I could not communicate well about our beliefs at all.  I could not understand his and he always made me laugh at anything I was telling him about mine.  Why with all those nice LDS boys around me was I in love with a non-Mormon again?  Well, he was a really great guy, that I do know.

Bill was sent to the Philippines for six months and what an exciting time to meet the ship when he came back. Many years later in 2008 Bill sent me a beautiful email crediting his coming home from the war unscathed and safe because he was my guy being true to me, his gal.  His roommate and boss both contracted serious diseases from their R and R adventures, one of which died.   He wanted me to know I had a part in saving his life.  He was and is a good man but we never could resolve our difference in religious beliefs.  We still check in with each other once in awhile though. 

Broken Heart #2- So, Bill and I did not marry, but we did plan it.  My parents were coming to Salt Lake City and we would meet them there in June of 1959.  Bill was out of the Navy and had been selling lots in Apple Valley.  He was a good salesman.  And then it was all over, I can't remember any of the details of the breakup.  I think my mind erases those memories and I did not write it in my journal.  But there is a funny story about it. 

When my parents heard about the breakup they came down to San Diego and were staying across the road from my house.  It was a motel on a hill and so had different levels of stairs.  I was just leaving their room dressed in heels, of course.  It was a Sunday.  As I glanced at the road I saw Bill in his convertible and he saw me.  I missed the step and fell down the stairs.  My parents were right behind me and we went over to my house.  We were probably going to Church and I would need to change my torn hose and clean up my knee.

A short time later I was in the kitchen when Dad came in and told me that Bill had just stopped by to see how I was after the fall.    He and Bill talked for awhile and Dad was very sweet as he told me about the conversation. 

 I cried.  He told me Bill was thinking of sailing around the world. 

 So I broke up with Bill and I went to summer school at BYU and then when I returned Richard rushed up after Sacrament meeting and introduced himself and everything went fast from there.  

One thing I had learned in my college dating is that unless I really liked the guy I could not stand to have them even touch my arm and I definitely was not going to hold hands with them.  Thus there was never any misunderstanding about how I felt.  I managed to date, stay friends and stay away from messy situations.

Easy To Love-With Richard I was holding his hand the first day and felt we had known each other forever.  He was a 'take charge' guy, which I loved, he made me feel he would take care of me and he was very sweet.  

He also made me feel from the beginning that he was in love with me and even though he always liked to stare at a pretty girl I was not intimidated by that, much. 

We talked and talked and talked as we shared everything about our former life.  I was also impressed with the way he treated others, his attitude toward work and his testimony of the Gospel.  There was not much to not love.

We were actually at BYU at the same time for a short period.  He was friends with the Law girls downstairs from me.  I collected cleaning from them.  But it was not time for us to meet evidently.  That was in 1954.

The next week the neighbors told me this guy keeps stopping by and rushing up the stairs to see if I was home.  It was Richard.  And that was the way it was.  Richard saw me as this girl he wanted and who might get away with some other guy and he was in full pursuit.

Actually we had so very much in common, similar backgrounds and he had had a broken romance the previous spring also.  He wanted me to meet his mother and soon we were exclusive and I did go to Las Vegas to meet his mother on Labor Day weekend.  She was very suspicious of me I thought.

In a letter home, this is  what I wrote my  folks about Richard, actually I called him Dick in the first letter home but had soon changed it to Richard...probably because we called my brother Dick.

"Age 28, Graduated in Finance and Banking from the Y, Mission in Texas, 2 years in Navy, home is in Las Vegas, one Mom, Father dead, two married brothers, works for a Savings and Loan Co.  Wants to go into real estate. loves San Diego, has white Ford convertible, loves to eat, speaks well in Church and has practical attitude about things.  Sowed wild oats in his youth, I believe.  Fun, ambitious, going to start planning a house and build it for an investment.  He's dark, has thinning hair, nice dresser and young looking and acting (fun) but mature.  Now you know as much as I do."  

We were married six weeks later, tried to elope, but Richard's brother Scott got involved.

No Time For  A Wedding-I was teaching full time and Richard just starting working for Centralfed.  Neither of us had any vacation time due but we were spending all this  time together.  

Richard decided we should  marry now and so the plan was made. He was the leader in our relationship at that time, for sure.  We would go straight from school on Friday, get married by the Bishop and have the weekend in LA and back again Monday morning for work.

Unfortunately he told his brother and Scott came unannounced from Las Vegas with Mom and family in tow and arranged a dinner and cake at a hotel.  It was all just too embarrassing for me but both Scott and Richard were trying to make their mother happy I think.  Nobody had a camera so no pictures.  

I am not sure when I told my parents,  it is all kind of hazy in my mind.  I do have a copy of the letter Richard wrote to my Dad saying we would go to the Temple in the near future.

Richard wrote a week after we married to my parents: "Thank you for your nice letters and all your kindness.  It has been nearly a week since Jan and I were married and I am just now beginning to realize what a really wonderful wife I have.  I'm glad that you were able to pray her away from all her previous suitors...Jan and I are very happy, but we look forward to the day we are married as we should be with both our parents present.  It's not so important where you're at--as the direction you're going.  Thank you again for all your kindness and especially for Jan."  Love, Richard.

 

One thing that was neat is my principal coming into my room on Friday and telling me I could go home early and he would take over the class. 

The other thing that was nice is the many mother's of the class giving me a wedding present!  In hindsight it  probably would have been better for us to wait until Christmas when we would have time for a reception and all.  I never have had a well-stocked kitchen, ha. 

But in another way I was relieved not to have a whole wedding and reception planned around me.  I never wanted to be the center of attention in that kind of situation unlike many young women who plan for their dream wedding all their life.  

Later the PTA Board gave me a surprise shower as well as all the gals at church so I really did get many lovely presents.

Dick had a roommate and he moved out so we had the house to ourselves.   However, he did come over to eat quite a bit with us.

I made curtains for the kitchen and one bedroom and the house really looked nice.  We were hoping that someone would come down and visit us.

Since we had two cars,  and I was not going to teach anymore, Dick thought we should sell one.  We sold mine  when my teaching was completed for the year because it was newer and worth more.  Dad  had finished paying it off as a wedding gift since he did not have to pay for a wedding and reception, etc.  I hope he did not feel badly about us selling it.

Since I was married I tried not to do any school preparation at home that last year and since it was my third year teaching kindergarten I pretty much had all the materials I needed and teaching was a breeze.  It was actually very enjoyable except I got pregnant and tired so easily.

One thing very interesting is that Dick really loved food, all kinds, and consequently I was eating more,  too,  and gaining weight!  Yikes!